10 Truths About Being a SAHM
You know your life has changed when going to the grocery is a vacation.
1. We do not stay home.
Like ever. If we are home it’s because we are too tired to face the world today. Or because the children are napping. Which I am sure, by some sort of over due past bad karma the UPS man will manage to ruin by ringing the doorbell just as the kids fall asleep.
2. If I cannot bend in it, run in it, or maneuver around all 007 in it…it will not be worn.
I see you cute moms out there. Wearing your accessories and matching wedges like your Kourtney Kardashian. Darn you Kourtney with a K! Why do you have to raise the un-realsitc bar so dang high?! Maybe your kids are super well behaved, but I just can’t see anything good happening wearing wedges when my 2 year old takes off running through the clothing racks. Which brings me to number 3….
3. We will not wear anything that a stain can’t be removed from.
There used to be a time for nursing around here. Everything I wore was v-neck and milk spillage proof. Those days are long gone. But now theres all these snacks! Dear lord THE SNACKS!!!!!! If you didn’t know that those apple sauce pouches can gain some distance when squeezed..your time is coming my friend. YOUR TIME IS COMING!
4. If its during baby’s nap time …we ain’t going!
Plain and simple people. I have no guilt against declining an event because it is at the time my toddler goes postal. Suuuuuureeee you feel all personal about my not showing up. You obviously don’t have kids. Hey I have an idea! I’ll go ahead and come over sans nap like you suggested …Im gonna put my feet up and eat those little sausages in bbq sauce you put out meanwhile you can chase my screaming sleep deprived child and remind yourself that nap time is sacred my friend. It’ll be great! Ghee I hope you don’t have all your glass vases out…he likes to throw things to let all that suppressed and tired anger out. Sorry.
5. We have no friends
My day is full. And if it is not full I am stuffing my mouth full of almonds or popcorn. What ever it is won’t matter, because I’ll be alone for the first time all day… zoned out embracing the sweet sweet silence. So I probably won’t call you or text you back. I am not even sure I would respond to my name at this point. If I can hear my thoughts, then I can’t hear you. I am busing interesting a bajillion things I will never actually get around to doing.
6. We want friends
This is like a double edged sword. Our alone time is sacred. But what we would give to say big words. To say butt, instead of tooshy. To talk about the last episode of New Girl, instead of what dilemma princess sophia is having today. To talk to a grown up! Sometimes it’s even nice to talk mommy hood. But all the other mommas are out there in silence enjoying their quiet time too…surviving, just like the rest of us.
7. We do not watch tv all day
I cancelled cable because I didn’t even know what any up to date show was when some one would ask me..”Hey! Did you see (insert trendy new show) last night?!” My response would be, “Is that on the sprout channel?”. Each day has a to do list. A never ending always interrupted to do list. Personally, I try to spend time working on my business, spending time playing with the kids, making food, spending time with God, cleaning, making food, doing yard work, trying to get someone to nap, making snacks, walking the dogs, washing the dogs, washing myself, working out, making food, doing laundry, making food, going to the cleaners, going to the store, making food, taking the kids to educational places, making food, making food, making food, cleaning up food….
When you pack up a car for two kids and you have 3 dogs it can take you up to 30 minutes just to get out of the door, into the car, and several trips back inside before you leave the driveway.
8. We could use a pick me up text from our significant other
While you are having adult interaction with people who feed themselves and go to the bathroom on their own, we like to know you think of us. Heck you even get to enjoy your potty break alone. We just like to know you are thankful for those hours we are clocking away raising your well behaved kids. In truth, connection throughout the day helps the connection at night. That’s all I am saying! Text your wife every couple of hours during the day and see if she decides to throw on her “moo-moo” that night! Try it I dare you! Bet she won’t be as “tired”. To sum it up we just need encouragement men. After our child has stuck a marble up his nose twice already…a good pick me up text would be much appreciated.
9. No we do not want you to go to the store for us
Unless its for emergency diapers. Or tampons. Or a pint of ice cream. Otherwise this is our time. We get to think while we shop. Go down every aisle. We can even check out the clearance rack of clothing real quick. Walk slowly taking it all in. Pictures of dinner plans for the week can parade our heads uninterrupted by toddler tantrums or snack demands. I can walk out with everything I actually intended to get. We can be gone from the kids without really feeling guilty for being gone. Because we are doing something for the betterment of our home. That is special to us my friend. Don’t you dare take that away from us!
10. We love being a stay at home mom
Despite the craziness. The mess. The yelling. The running to here and there. The times we lock ourselves in a closed to enjoy a chocolate bar by OURSELVES. And the millions of times we tell our husbands…”I’ll go to work for you honey, you can stay home with the kids”. There is lots and lots of love. Every moment, whether taken for granted or not is a moment we wouldn’t miss for the world. It’s exhausting but worth every minute. Those tiny tots are only small for a short time, and it has been a blessing to say the least to be able to stay home with them and watch them grow. Did I mention it was exhausting?
Every moment is a blessing ladies.