Don't Just Smell It!

I find it interesting how my son always finds the perfect time to take a poo. Some of you might not have kids right now and your thinking REALLY?!?! But you just wait….For those of you who do have kids your laughing with sympathy right now. Because you can picture the exact embarrassing moments that kept your humility alive. Ha!

I had a coupon for Ulta the other day. And I have desperately needed a new hair straightener. Like the plates of my old one were hanging out of the wand.. like dangling. And I would just push them back in and power through it. I have been putting off spending the money on a new one. Well Since I cut my hair super short, I can get away with a mini one, and they happened to be on sale. Plus I HAD A COUPON! Well apparently…so did the rest of the city. And what day did said coupon expire…that day. Ugh!

Here I am pep talking my oldest on our way there. What are we here to do?!! (Car response) Get one thing!!! …What are we NOT going to do!? Run around in the store!!! We will go straight in get it and get in line. Please Lord let the line be short. We go in make a straight bee line for the straightener, we’ve made it this far without taking out any displays or touching all the display eye shadows, this is looking promising! We turn the corner to get in line, I am feeling like Mike Tyson about now like I just made that store my…. and BAM!!…the line is halfway to the back of the store! Do I back down now!? We made it this far. And my coupon expires today! NO… we can do this!

So here’s the deal. It isn’t so much as the waiting that’s horrible. It’s who you are waiting around that makes or breaks you. Luckily, this time I had a few lighthearted and understanding patrons by me. So I get in line and my kiddos settle in on a display of lip balms to “reorganize”. Thats all great and everything. Until my son realizes they are shaped similarly like a ball. So now he’s testing out his pitching change up. Nice.

As I move my way towards the counter I finally need to move my kiddos closer to me. But as I pick up my son after him denying my call to come to me. Ive realized that he’s made a little present in his diaper. And as I lift him and he’s kicking his feet…It just begins to aromatically surround the area. And upon setting him down he immediately runs back to where he was. And now I am panicking. Now people are whispering. They are looking at me. So I am, strategizing. I need to get him from point A to point B..without the kicking and he needs to stay there. So I grab him and set him facing the wall with face each boxes and show him he can stack them. Yay! SUCCESS! He’s standing next to me!

Honestly though I shouldn’t have been so stressed out. Here’s the deal. If you have had kids please do NOT forget the fact that your kids once poo’ed and it smelled like something died at one time. And do not forget that sometimes your kids didn’t stand still in a line. Why do I constantly feel like I am being judged based on my kids? They aren’t even in kindergarten people! I’m feeling good if neither of them have painted the dog that day. I mean come on! Yes I understand it smells. Yes I understand they might be crying. How about you stop gossiping and complaining about how they are acting and HELP me distract them?! Mind Blown right?! Oh my gosh. Other people….helping people? What. Is. That? If you aren’t a mom yet this applies to you too. I am sure you had a sibling or have baby sat. Imagine how much more happier stores would be. How empowered moms would be with the help of others just to make it through a store.

I have decided that if I have an extra toy to give up in my bag. If I would carry a few extra emergency snacks of suckers in my purse. I just might save a momma a few tears. We are just trying to survive ya’ll. That’s it. If you start playing peek a boo with my kid from across the room trying to entertain them while I pay at the counter, but you manage to stop my kid from throwing a fit. Hallelujah! So, let’s help a momma out from now on. Because one day you might be in the same situation and you’d give anything for someone to walk by in that instant hand you a snack just so you can make it out of the store and to your car peacefully.