Working Momma Blues
If you read my last blog post, you know I started working again.
It. Is. Rough.
I want to do everything. Letting go was(is) a struggle. But it basically came down to exhaustion or create a new way of doing things.
It’s funny being on the other side of things. I feel like as a single parent you have your own idea of what goes on in a working mom’s life vs being able to actually experience it. I was blessed in that this is the first time I have ever had to work while having kids.
Currently the thing I miss the most is the ability to get things done during the day. Now if I need to go somewhere it is either closed or it will end up being too late for me to go.
More importantly….Working moms, when do you sleep?!?
I just got back from a doctors visit. Just a check in sort of thing. But as she did an assessment zyto scan of my body she basically told me that I cannot function like I have been trying to with this amount or lack of amount of sleep I have been getting.
There is just not enough time though!
Oh and forget working out in the morning if I haven’t prepped everything the night before.In fact there have been many pep talks to myself about how I cannot be jealous of my husbands ability to go to the gym during the day. Because once that was me. I would drop the kids and then head to get in some sweat and me time. But lets not talk about that. It’s a sore subject. And like I said I am working on acceptance. To be fair, my husband hardly ever got to go to the gym working 80 weeks and I was hitting that place up 3-5 times a week. So I mean it’s his time.
I have it pretty good though. Since my husband is still building his business (shameless plug HERE) from home he is able to do costco runs, prep dinner and make deposits to the bank during the day. Not to mention bring my son’s blanket to school during nap time, since we had forgotten it. No blanket, no nap is the way he basically looks at it.
There are still things I have to get over. Like how I organize the dishwasher. I am efficient I tell you. I will make every dishwasher run COUNT! However my husband fills the dish machine a little differently. I showed him my way just as an idea, and although he might still do it his way I need to let it go. How he makes up a dinner on his own is something I cannot try to control. What he chooses our son to wear to school…no big deal. How he organizes the kitchen counter…well he does that pretty well actually.
I think because we are working outside the home there is a feeling that we need to come home and over work ourselves at home. To make up for lost time if you will. However from a couple weeks of trying to figure out our new way of life it has come down to one thing. Team work.
That sounds super cheesy right? But it is true. We were literally struggling without a game plan. Without discussing expectations of each other several times. Once before the storm. When we really had no idea what we were about to face and then again after a week of the world breaking us in we came up with a new approach. It was also important for me to keep in mind that the roles didn’t completely reverse. Just because he was home more did not mean I was excusing myself from all house hold duties. And even though I want to relax after a day of work that does not mean I need to come home and turn on the tv. I refuse to let society or any generation skew what my roles need to be. I am what my family needs me to be. And I am ok with that.
We haven’t figured it out perfectly yet. But it seems to have a better flow these days.
The days of longing to nap with my two year old still come. On his days that he wasn’t at his mothers day out program I would sneak a nap with him in our bed. All snuggled up with his still sweet baby smell. I am glad that we had those times together.
And now that is what I value the most. When I come home I feel like every moment with my kiddos cannot be taken for granted. I love to sit with them and I feel guilty trying to do anything else but listen to them and love on them when I get home. Let me tell you one thing..social media is no a priority when I am working or at home. But it should have been that way anyway.
So for all you working mommas out there, I know, the struggle is real. But keep your priorities in check and work as a team with your spouse and I promise you it is only beneficial. And I feel for my single working mommas. But I couldn’t have said it any better than Matt Chandler…that God’s grace abounds in the place of a missing father. It’s so true weather you are a single or married working parent, keeping your faith in God’s plan and letting him lead you and your family will only result in beautiful transformations and like us a closer family.
So go in peace working mommas, and let the balance be with you.
(See what I did there? Your welcome Luke Skywalker fans, your welcome.)