Dear Mom... There's Beauty in Madness

Photo by  Valeria Zoncoll  on  Unsplash

Dear Mom,

When your up to your ears in laundry, you've finally got it folded, your toddler jumps in head first messing it all up. But they grin that baby faced grin and you squeeze whats left of those baby rolls (that your sure will be gone by next year) and in the middle of all that frustration you can't deny that playful smile. You throw your hands up and laugh, because there's beauty in madness. 

You went to the grocer store the other day ALONE....with all the kids. You managed to somehow get everything on the list, you didn't lose a child, and you go to check out only to realize you forgot your card to pay. That moment when you want to cry or stomp out of there knowing you'll have to make this trip again and your little one pulls on your arm and tells you "momma it's ok". There's beauty in madness.

Dear mom, when you are playing the role of both mom and dad, you feel like a tired constantly on the run blur of a mess trying to be in all the places doing all the things that normally two people do. Your kiddos see you working hard for them. They see the work your putting in. Dear mom, your actions speak louder than words and on the outside looking in, there's beauty in your madness. 

When you look at your skin and your painted with several stripes that somehow seem to be growing, multiplying or not fading fast enough. You can't fit into your favorite jeans anymore and sometimes looking at yourself gets you down. But those stripes you've earned, the scars you've managed, the extra fluff in the belly only proves to be the mark of a woman who gave her body to bring life to her babies and momma, there's beauty in madness. 

You're coming home from the court house for a moment that has seemed to take too long to get here. Because your bringing those babies home, finally owning your last name despite them already being etched in your heart. Your house may be full to the max, the grocery bills might be almost insane, but your heart and it's ability to grow and open up for each of these babies is amazing, without a doubt there's beauty in your madness.  

When you pull up to the car line in pj's and coffee cups rollin' out of the minivan when they open up the doors. But I won't judge you, because you just managed to pack four lunches and make it to school on time after repeating 1200 times for everyone to put on their shoes so we won't be late.

You're walking bare footed in Target because you decided to wear your cute new wedges and your feet decide to rebel because they've only known tennis shoes, flip flops and flats since you gave birth. There's beauty in your madness. 

Dear mom, 

In all that you do, all of your self that your give, all of the tears that you cry for those babies of yours, and all of the crazy things you do to survive. I won't judge you. And you shouldn't judge you either. 

Dear mom...there's so much beauty in your madness.